by
Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
The Crossings, Austin, TX
June 5 – June 8, 2008
I’ve never heard someone say, “Warren, I want a divorce—my partner understands me.”
At the deepest level, most coupled individuals do not feel understood by their partners. Promises of honesty and love begin to fade when we express genuine feelings that our partners perceive as criticism. Criticism begets criticism, and soon the fear of escalation leads to stuffing feelings and “walking on eggshells.” The children consume too much time for unraveling the feelings, even as they also create a reason to stay together. The result: Couples remain legally married but psychologically divorced, developing a “silent deal” that looks too much like our parents’ and not enough like the initial promise.
The most important component in this cycle is the inability to handle what our partners perceive as their feelings and what we perceive as their criticism. Active listening, the best solution, is rarely used. Dr. Farrell has modified active listening to avoid what prevents most couples from using it. When conflict can be fully expressed, he helps develop “conflict-free zones.” Once the fear of walking on eggshells disappears, he works with couples to replace that fear with an atmosphere of positive associations. The outcome: reigniting passion without sacrificing stability.
Once these methods are mastered with our partners, Dr. Farrell helps participants apply them to children, co-workers, and finally our own parents.
The longer weekend format is designed to provide plenty of time for massaging, saunas and unwinding–keeping work and play in balance. Tuition fully refundable if the weekend does not increase your communication skills, love, and sense of emotional security.
Bio:
Warren Farrell, Ph.D., has conducted thousands of workshops world-wide. His book that focuses on couples’ communication is Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say, a Book-of-the-Month Club selection. His best-sellers include Why Men Are the Way They Are. He has appeared on over 1,000 TV shows, including repeatedly on Oprah and the Today show, and been selected by The Financial Times as one of the world’s top 100 Thought Leaders. He lives with his wife and daughters in California, and virtually at www.warrenfarrell.com.
Required reading: Women Can’t Hear what Men Don’t Say, chapters 1-3
CEU credits pending for psychologists, MFTs, LCSWs, and nurses