2010 BOOK REVIEW: Father and Child Reunion by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.
from Nathan Greenberg
This book review has been a long time coming. Dr. Farrell was kind enough to send a copy and I couldn’t wait to begin. Just before making contact with Dr. Farrell, the ProActiveDads team was beginning to think about a set of principles or guidelines that defined (in bullet point format) what we were about. What we were trying to accomplish. After reading this book, that task became much easier. With each turn of a page, I was engrossed with new facts, new ideas, new statistics, and new revelations about fatherhood and our perception in this world. To sum it up: this book is our bible. This book is our mission.
Dr. Farrell has amassed an amazing collection of statistics about fatherhood, families, divorce, children, and the media. It was this collection that largely made the book so fascinating and easy to read. For example, did you know that young MEN in the workplace are more willing than women to give up pay for more time with their family? Or that 90 percent of runaway or homeless children come from fatherless homes? We didn’t, but now we do.
As fathers read this book, they should become more empowered and excited about their roles as dads. It clearly and overwhelmingly defines the importance of our choices as well as the consequences of our failures. The book is an open discussion of the things dads do that lead to successful children. Doctor Farrell paints a clear picture of being a role model and the necessity of maturity and leadership in the family. And through the data presented, we -the reading fathers- can learn from the mistakes of others and do our best to give our children and families wonderful opportunities.
Father and Child Reunion is one of seven titles from Dr. Farrell focusing on men and our positions in society. He has proven himself to be an advocate for our gender as well as promoter of fairness for our families. I read the reviews and praise and was pleased to see so many women in favor of his opinions and approach. But I confess to being a bit surprised as I made my way through the book. There were many facts -entire sections even- that I did not want to share with my wife. At first glance, the tone seemed to be almost “anti-Mom” in his presentation. The facts about child murder and abuse were especially enlightening. I thought, “this guy served on the Board for N.O.W.?!” But as the days went on, I realized my first impression was wrong. He wasn’t promoting fathers above mothers, but breaking down the stereotypes that so many of us have (myself included) and showing the equality and importance that both parents play in the lives of children. He demonstrated in vivid detail that hurting one member of a family hurts all members of a family.
A great portion of the book deals with the impact of disagreement, divorce, and false assumptions about Dads. And it explores those issues from a multitude of aspects including, children, moms, wives, judges, attorneys, and the media. If you are a parent who has experienced divorce (your own or your parents’), you must read this book. If you are currently going through divorce, you really must read this book. Buy a copy for your attorney at the same time. It will be the best investment you could make.
By now, I hope it goes without saying that we recommend this book with complete enthusiasm. It would be a super gift for any Dad. You can purchase the book and learn more about Dr. Farrell at www.WarrenFarrell.com.
Nathan Greenberg, Founder, ProActiveDads.com